People Pleasers

Mar25

There are so many demands and peer pressure in our world today.  If I asked you, “Who are you?” would you answer with your job title?  Would you answer with the sport you play?  Would you answer the way your friends or family see you?  What would you say?

More time than not, you would answer this question quickly and with some sort of a title.  But do you really know who you are and what truly makes you happy?

I ask this question because there are way too many people trying to be something they are not.  They want to fit in with the crowd.  They want to look like someone else.  They want to be popular.  But, the problem with this is that most are unhappy deep within themselves.  I can tell you from experience that it never is all its cracked up to be nor can you please everyone.

As Christians, we tend to be “yes” people.  Yes, I’ll help you.  Yes, I’ll be there.  Yes, I can do that project.  And so on.  Unfortunately, most of us take on too many obligations which create pressure and stress within our own lives; losing the very essence of who we are.

When we try to please people around us, we tend to make them happy while making ourselves miserable.  The key here is to learn how to make ourselves happy first.  This is not selfish, by no means.  When we make ourselves happy and be who we really are, then that happiness overflows onto the people around us; creating a wonderful, loving environment that has more impact on others than just trying to fit in.

Let’s see what the Bible says about who we are:

  • We’re a child of the Most High God (John 1:12)
  • We are joint heirs with Christ (Romans 8:17)
  • We are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)
  • You’re a friend of Jesus Christ (John 15:15)
  • You have been chosen by God (Ephesians 1:4)
  • God looks at the heart of a man, not his outward appearance (Samuel 16:7)
  • The king greatly desires your beauty (Psalm 45:11)
  • You are a sweet aroma to God (2 Corinthians 2:15)

If God sees us as a beautiful child then don’t you think the best thing we can do is love ourselves in a meaningful, humble way.  I’m not talking about having an ego and thinking you’re all high and mighty.  What I’m talking about is, loving the person you are, loving yourself just as you are, and knowing that you are beautiful just the way you are.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t wear what everyone else is wearing or you’re not driving the best car or you don’t have the biggest home on the block…what matters is that you are happy from deep within your mind, body and soul.

There are always going to be naysayers or people who want you to be something you are not.  In Romans 12:12, we are specifically told “not to conform to this world…”  For when you are walking in God’s love and loving yourself, it will spill over onto others.  It will bring such peace and joy within your life; you’ll wonder why you haven’t done it before.  In Colossians 3:15 we are told to “be led by peace in making decisions”.  That is so much more important than doing things out of obligations.

Things don’t need to feel like a chore when you help someone.  If it comes from a deep passion within yourself, it will catapult the love you feel onto those around you.  This calm, stable and relaxing state of mind is the ultimate, rewarding experience.  People will notice the change.  People will realize that they too can enjoy life fully and will want to know how you do it.  That’s what it is all about…helping others from this standpoint of peace and leading by example.  It is more powerful than you realize.  Making a difference comes from the love inside of you; knowing who you truly are in Christ and allowing it to flow into others.  We all have received our very own special gifts and abilities (1 Peter 4:10) and we need to walk in these given talents.  It is a very rewarding experience.

SO…TODAY IS A NEW DAY!

EMBRACE YOURSELF!  For when you do, you will become an amazing person that will make a huge difference in the world around you.  For there is no better place to be than walking in your DIVINE DESTINY, being the person you are meant to be.  Believe it!  Live it!  There is no one else like you so stop trying to be like everyone else.

CELEBRATE YOUR UNIQUENESS…YOU ARE VERY SPECIAL!  YOU ARE ONE OF A KIND!

Patience

Mar24

Have you ever found yourself wanting something to happen right now, but it seems to take longer than expected?

Well, I sure have.  We live in a world of instant gratification.  Just take a quick look around and you’ll see fast food restaurants, drive-thru pharmacies, quick remedies for weight loss and the “quick draw McGraw” of news…the internet.  Isn’t it amazing how addicted we are to instant things?

It really becomes prevalent when you have to wait in a checkout line at the grocery store and you realize just how impatient you are to get out of there; even if you don’t have anywhere else to go.

When time is of the essence and you have absolutely no understanding of what is happening; the most important thing you can do is have PATIENCE!  It is certainly one of the hardest lessons to learn.  Yet, it is one of the most crucial in your daily walk with God.

Here’s why…In James 1:2-4, God is very specific why we must learn patience.

“Consider it wholly joyful, my brethren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations.  Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience.  But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be perfectly and fully developed, lacking in nothing.”

In other words, God is telling us that we should rejoice in difficult situations, knowing that God tests our faith to bring out patience.  During trials, all kinds of junk are brought to the surface.  Things like anger, rebellion, self-pity, complaining and pride.  It is so important to deal with this stuff so that God can take us to the next level.

So, let’s put it in a step-by-step process:

  1. Trials come and we face all the “icky” stuff
  2. This in turns helps us develop Patience
  3. Patience helps us develop Endurance
  4. Endurance creates a mature character
  5. A mature character brings us to absolutely nothing lacking within our lives.

Let’s face it; most of us have absolutely no clue what God is up to when He calls us.  But one thing for certain is that He knows the end from the beginning.  Ecclesiastes 7:8 reminds us, “Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patience in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.” And Galatians 6:9 tells us, “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

So, I don’t know about you but the ending sure sounds better than the beginning.  It doesn’t matter how long we have to wait, it is far more rewarding to wait on the Lord’s timing because His timing is perfect and the outcome will exceed all your expectations.

Perspective is Everything

Mar23

What situation do you find yourself in right now? Is everything going well or is everything falling apart?

If you’re like most of us, life seems to be falling apart as we are in the battle for our lives. No matter where you look, it appears evil is winning. Right seems wrong and wrong seems right.

Wilderness seasons are as tough as they can get. It’s a season where sickness and disease are prevalent, we don’t have enough, we wonder if things will ever get better, people walk out of our lives, we can feel lonely and depressed or worse, we can feel so alone that we consider suicide. It’s moments like these you wonder what is your purpose in life and if people would miss you when you are gone. These types of seasons are filled with hurt, pain and lack. And if you let it, a lot of complaining.

It’s a crazy world we live in but have no fear. There are many benefits to our wilderness seasons and if we can change our perspective, it can change everything.

If you look in the Bible when John baptized Jesus, what was the very next thing that happened? The Holy Spirit led Jesus into the wilderness. It was a place of nothing, a place of loneliness, a place of temptation and a place of hunger. (Matthew 4)

God wants us to lean on Him in good times and bad times. He wants us to invite Him into our lives to take our lack and multiply it to meet, not just our needs, but the needs of others too. Sometimes the only way for us to learn how to lean on Him for ALL things is by going through a very rough and dry spell. It’s during these times we seek Him above all else. We read the Bible more, we commune with God more, we ask questions, we seek His answers and we learn to not lean on our understanding or on our ways of doing things because no matter what we try, nothing works.

During these difficult times, God wants us to grow. He wants to test us, transform us, purify us, prove us and prepare us for great things. He wants to walk with us and teach us that He is with us no matter how good or bad the situations are in life. He wants us to depend on Him when fear is trying to get a hold of us. He wants us to look towards Him when we don’t see a way. He wants us to see Him as our provider, our restorer, our healer, our first love.

The wilderness is sometimes the best way for God to clean out the junk in our hearts. We may think we are in alignment with God, only to find out we are holding onto grudges, unforgiveness, pain and brokenness. This is when God can do amazing things. When we can humble ourselves in the midst of the battle to say “God I need you”.

When we are feeling lost, scared and alone that’s when God can bring out the best in us and prepare us for the road ahead. He wants us to always remember “give us this day our daily bread”. We need to change our perspectives and see God moving in the midst of our battles. He has a way when we don’t see one. He knows what we need and when we need it. Begin to rely on HIM for EVERYTHING and you will quickly become ready for your “promised land”.

Boast in your battle, your distress and your persecutions. (2 Cor. 12:9, Hebrews 11:34) Depend on God! You’re strong if you’re holding on. Don’t let go. God is transforming you into a mighty warrior in the midst of your battle. His resources are unlimited and dependable. Let Him do His mighty work in you so your are prepared for His incredible plan for your life.

Realize that temptations will also be in the “promised land”. It’s easy to get comfortable and feel secure when things are going great. It’s easy to forget that God provided the blessings and abundance. We need to be prepared for the greatness He has in store for us while still relying on Him even when everything is going well.

Remember…Faith, Dependence, Trust, being Humble, Provision, Healing and Protection is needed in the wilderness and in abundance. It takes courage and strength to embrace the difficult learning seasons; but God is calling you out and wants to hold your hand. Will you trust Him enough to let go, learn what you need to learn, let Him transform you and prepare you while depending on Him every step of the way? And will you remember Him and give Him the praise when everything turns into your favor?

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Anger and The Art of Forgiveness

Mar22

AngerHave you ever found yourself so angry that you began to shake violently or you want to hit or throw something? Anger can be violent and very disruptive to your life, as well as, those around you.

For when we hold built up anger against others or ourselves, it lingers and tends to grow into a full-blown pity party and you seem to fly off the handle at the little things in life.

Let’s see what scripture has to say:

  • Ephesians 4:31 “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice”.
  • Proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger”.
  • Proverbs 16:32 “Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty…”.

Let those scriptures sink in. Repeat them. They sure say a lot, don’t they? But why would it be so important for God to tell us these things within the Bible?

Sing Out Loud

Because, He knows that this is not a simple task for us. Our human nature tends to hold onto grudges. We like to think that if we treat the individual differently, they will feel our pain or if they can sense our anger towards them, they’ll get the point. However, nothing could be further from the truth.

When we have a quick temper or say something that we shouldn’t, then it tends to fester as guilt and becomes a vicious cycle. When we hold onto pain, anger and unforgiveness; all it does is cause sickness and unhappiness within our own lives. We are clearly told in Colossians 3:13, that we should “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you so you must forgive others.”

Now, we all know that we are not perfect and we certainly make mistakes. There was only one perfect person that ever existed and that was Jesus. So, the best thing we can do is learn how to control anger and learn the art of forgiveness, His way. It is imperative that we make HIM a big part of the equation. It is completely for our benefit, not for anyone else.

The absolute best thing you can do when you find yourself angry or unwilling to forgive is to STOP YOUR THOUGHTS AND HOLD YOUR TONGUE. Immediately, ask God to help you overcome the situation, release it to Him for transformation and ask for Him to fill you with peace that surpasses all understanding. It is also best to hold your tongue rather than to regret your words later. For it is written that the power of the tongue brings life or death.(Proverbs 18:21)

Word of Caution…the more you attempt to release things to God, the more negative thoughts you will encounter.  Do not allow yourself to relive the situation over and over again. Just keep stopping the thoughts, ask God to take them off your shoulders and to be filled with His indescribable peace.

Forgiveness

Stand against your opposition by giving it to God and filling your mouth with praises for Him! You will notice that the burdens begin to lift and your anger, pain and frustration will subside. Things will begin to roll off your back and you won’t sweat the small stuff either.

God is bigger than any problem you face, that I can guarantee you!

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